Liver Damage Are Bad Americans
I am your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I like big cars, real boobs and I believe that that money that I make belongs to me and not to some midlevel bureaucrat with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate. I am better than the homeless. I don't think being a minority makes you Noble or Victimized. I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist. I shouldn't have to be tolerant of others only because they are different.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. I believe that if you are selling me a "Big Mac," you should do it in English. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for socialist opinions or actions. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. My heroes are Ronald Reagan, Charlton Heston, Jeeps, Harlies and Big Trucks.

I don't hate the Rich. I don't pity the Poor. I know that wrestling is fake, but I still think The "Rock" kicks ass. I think that Global Warming is junk science. I've never owned a slave or was a slave, and neither were you so stop your whining. I think that you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal out to Save the Earth is more dangerous than a Play Station. I've never commited a violent act because of a movie, a song or a video game. I will continue to use my Cell Phone while I am driving, no matter how many laws you pass. I believe in More Freedom and Less Government. I think Vegetarians should realize that if a Cow knew how to use a Knife and a Fork, they'd have no reservations about eating people.

I thought that "Spinal Tap" Was great, but Rob Reiner can still kiss my ass. I think Rosie O'Donnel should just Shut The Hell Up and Go Away already. I think The Simpsons is a work of Genious. I think that men that want to have an Affair with another mans large intestine should be sent to another country for my mental and physical health.

I worry about dying before I get even. If Jesse Jackson the "poverty pimp" thinks that I am a racist, then he should explain to me why there are no Blacks in China and India and why Africa has become the murder and disease capital of the world. Remember Apartheid? I believe that it doesn't take a Village to raise a child-it takes a parent. I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I believe that Drug Addiction and Alcoholism are NOT Diseases, but rather the result of a choice that was made. Calling them Diseases is nothing more than a Cop Out, so that they can say "Yes, I have a problem, but it's NOT MY FAULT, I have a disease." I feel people should be able to make their own desicions, and also take responsibilty for the results of those decisions.

I toss my soft drink can in the trash, even when the recycle bin is just a few more steps. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. I believe that it's every man's right to own a gun, and that anyone that tells you different should be shot. Yes, I am a Bad American. We...Liver Damage...are Bad Americans. And if you don't like it, you can Kiss My Ass.